Idk if I'm sick or what, but im always tired, ive had a headache since yesterday and im angry due to the other two things. works a pain in the ass because there isnt enough work for me to stay busy. So I find myself feeling like my 9h days last a week. I can't shake the feeling that people are going to wrong me. mainly the girlfriend, IDK why shes never given me reason to think she would be unfaithful but I am paranoid and its happened before to me so i guess i just expect the worst. my paranoia causes problems and fights. like how she will go out to the clubs with her friends, doesnt ask if i wanna go but if i bring it up she will say i can go and i tell her i dont want a pity invite so i stay home and brood. Yet when I ask her to come out with me and my friend who is coming down this weekend from out of town she starts with excuses. IDK.

All that said this weekend should be fun.

unlike today, Ive got to go to work and get chastised for not working hard enough with broken equipment and nothing to use it on

'And live for the moment but that takes too much pride.
You will stay what I'll never have.
Oh can you see me now?
Do you hear me now?
Do you see Me now?
Could you save me now?
Do you hear me now?
Could you see me now?
Could you save me now?
I'm choking... I'm choking.."

lovely song.

life lesson to anyone reading this: listen to more say anything :)

what the heeeeellll

I hate everything. All the time.
I don't know why I do but I just do.
Like work, its dead, theres nothing to do, the owner is constantly pestering me I need money, I need the job.
I hate the choices I have made, alot of them.

I hate people. Alot of them, friends, family etc.

I am in a constant state of paranoia and am perpetually annoyed at everything so it makes it hard for me to go a day without getting pissed at people i talk to.

I hate how I over use commas...

I hate you. probably not YOU but you as in the person imthinking about and i cant tell you that because it would make things kinda awkward.

I hate the rapper in the lexus.

I love you. Again probably not you, well maybe you as well but definitely not in that way.

I can't help but think people are hiding things from me, especially when the come off defensive when i ask them what they are doing simply because its what i do when im bored. but whenpeople say theyre doing one thing then i find out its something else and they get all defensive and say how im being overbearing because i ask what theyre doing all the time that makes me think that they do have something to hide. its funny how that works because now i want to know more but i said i would not ask any more questions because its a snarky ass hole thing to do and sometimes you need to be an asshole or a dick because if you dont, your a pussy.

My god i ramble and bitch but it helps because it saves me from going postal and making mistakes. mind you ive made many, uttering "I wish you would die" isnt always a good thing to do, thats why this is coming in handy, and the fact that noone reads it makes me chuckleanyways

HELLLLO BLOGGER

Well its been a year and then some since I have last updated and since then I have, I'm not really sure gone through a couple jobs, a couple girls, a couple friends and done a whole lot of wishing the people I want to be around were here.

In recent news, Halloween sucks. Its a sad excuse for chicks to get drunk and dress inappropriately and for guys to stare at tits...while drunk.

I've been upset a lot lately, i mean A LOT. not talking about crying to mommy upset more of the everything you do say or think about is going to piss me off so why dont you just stop existing kinda upset.

Girlfriend! got one of those. Been seeing each other for like 4 months and today was the day we made it "Facebook official". I don't see the need for labels and the whole asking "Will you be my girlfrieeeend" thing but i mean to each his(her) own it was starting to wear on her that we didnt have official labels yet.

Job! got one of those too. Washing cars and all the glamorous things that come with being the lowest on totem pole. Recent work included, crashing a vehicle into a bay door frame, cleaning up, lugging out and wearing about 100lbs of decomposing pumpkins and hay(another reason tohate halloween) and sucking up to the boss because weve been slow the last week days have been greulingly slow and i need my job.

Car, I got a new one of those as well. I bought a 03 mustang to replace my 95 mustang who was falling apart. Well see how this goes.

Sleep, i should really be getting to that, i think ill be coming onheremore now. Seeing as i am in need to blow off steam so that i can try to keep my relationship not in the gutter.

Gnight

5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

5.(five)

People I can trust fully.

G.O.A.T- The one who has been there through everything since kindergarten.
The Unlikely find - The girl who has snuck into my life in the strangest way.
G.I. Bro (I thought it was clever:))
Mom- Obviously
Myself-tricky at times but I like to believe I can trust me...

4.(four)

People I can Talk to.

G.O.A.T.- You have an amazing talent for listening and truely live up to your name.
The Unlikely find - Somehow talking to you makes everything feel like its going to be alright even if its not.
G.I. Bro (still clever) - Its hard to at times but when I need you your there thank you.
The Tank - Although you've got an apearance that would beg to differ your one of the best people to sit and talk to about whats going on in life bro thx.

3.(three)

People that know the real me.

G.O.A.T. - Obviously you know me more than anyone.
Previous - You know who I was, I don't know if you count, or if I want you to.
Me - I know what I can be, but who I am is sometimes blurred.

2.(two)

People I can tell ANYTHING

G.O.A.T. - No matter the problem, I feel like I'm safe and not being judged talking to you Thank you bro.
The Tank - We have went through some similar things aside from some recent happenings to you and I know you always know where I'm coming from.

1. (one)

Person I wish was here to help me.

G.O.A.T. - Honestly whats a wolf without his packmates haha

just wanted to express some things and try not to be too straight forward about it...

Friends like the ones I KNOW I have only come along lets see... aparently once every, 13 or so years haha? You guys mean the world to me honestly and thanks for everything. even though the chances of you all reading this are slim to none its all good just a chance for me to vent.


Enjoy hopefully you see what im puting out by this and if your realy good you might be able to tell how im feeling by this...but only if your REALLY GOOD

Update

Well well if it isnt the ol blog haha. Haven't been on for awhile because I'm not usually on the computer or home realy. Spending the majority of my time at work and when I'm not at work I'm usually in bed because I have to get up to go to work the next day.

So I got stuff to say but first I'm givin the update due to it being like forever since I've posted but who noticed realy?

Got an '01 Hyundai Accent from my grandparents, had some times in it took it off roading.. Fixed the exaust and the started blah blah blah found a mustang on the net and sold my car to buy it now im driving my dream car and im only 18. Now all I have to do is keep it running:)

Still at Boston Pizza still living my life like the lyrics to one of my best friends songs..fml haha ugh girls?...still talking to the same girls nothing has come of anything

In dept for the car need new breaks and tires and lights but im not worried about money realy just blahhhh now for a new actual post about GRR

"you fool, you damn fool", The Apartment(1960)

Well its been a prettty uneventful last few days between the last post and now but heres a breif breakdown of what happened:
Woke up, went to work.
Woke up, went to work.
Woke up, waited to go to work, went.
Thats pretty much how its been going down for the last week or so haha not alot of fun but its not too bad.

Went swimming at Porter's hole in French Village or Hampton or something wherever it is its right beside the hammond river covered bridge, it was a pretty good time. I went with someone I couldn't see myself going with about a week ago due to a 1000 word rant about her..haha jesus. I hung out with her at the mall one day and told her she is lucky im a fool. kinda am.

The swimming trip was pretty fun, got muddy, some more than others on account of falling into a mud puddle. I tried to save her but couldn't that time. The water was realy warm and the high spot was pretty sketchy this time around again. Her friend slid on the rocks underwater she said so that was sketchy. When SHE jumped in I was scared for her coz she took so long and the rocks protrude from the spot where you jump. right before she hit the water she leaned back and I thought for sure she was gonna hit the rocks but nope :) lol

Met some ppl there the guys weren't so bad but the girl was pretty annoying and made me want to push her off the rocks. The current was decievingly strong, trying to swim to this rock that was underwater that we couldn't find was extremely hard and i was pretty much dead by the time we made it to the other rocks. On the bright/strange side I found the rock under water but the current pushed me off and i couldnt find it again and it made me sad:(

On the walk back when we had to walk accross the other river I had HER bag so if she fell she wouldnt get it wet coz her cell was in there. I was about halfway accross and I noticed she was having a hard time so i threw my shoes accross the river and was gonna go help her but i had her bag and i didnt want to get it wet so I was like one sec! and went to go to put it on the shore and she fell into the river and floated downstream. lol I have to admit it was hilarious but I booter er the rest of the way accross the river to get rid of her bag then went to help her get out of the water haha.

Again on the walk back she slipped in the mud and ended up getting herself and he bag covererd in mud. I couln't help but laugh haha made it back to the car after that washed off and went home haha I had a pretty decent time I dono how she felt about the whole thing..

Not sure about whats going on with that whole situation but I'm sure ill figure it out some time lol

Went to bed at 4:00am this morning.. had to work for 10:00am so I got up at 9:00 called my grandparents for a ride and got to work. One of the kitchen managers asked me what time i was in and I told him 10-5, he gave me a sideways look and said are you sure. and I assured him i was positive. We went to the schedule and seen i worked 5-10pm. I was not a happy camper. So I walked to the mall seen Collings and Miller handing out samples for goat milk soap and hand cream and walked to my grandparents house to get a drive home. ugh.

I think I'm going to have a nap because everyone I know is either:
A. Working
B. Sleeping
Enjoy your day everyone, 'till next time

Je suis Napol...Splash Gordon ;)